Top Ten Annoying Kinds of Athiests!

If you must know, my all time most viewed post is the Top Ten Annoying Types of Christians post from 2011. I figured it would be fun to turn the tables and critique some of the annoying kinds of atheists there are. Fair is fair, after all.

1.      The Fanboy Athiests

These are the Sam Harris and Jordan Peterson (instert famous atheist here) die-hard fan-boy  types that will defend every little thing said or done by their favorite celebrity atheist no matter how absurd or wrong. There's nothing they won't come to the defense of it it's their bro-atheist.

2.      The Atheist + Atheists

A movement championed by Richard Carrier among others to make Atheism more inclusive. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But the way these A+ movers went about doing it was to burn all the bridges and slam anyone who disagreed with even one minute aspect of the movement's screed. It was left-leaning and very dogmatic in it's zeal for revolutionizing the New Atheism movement. Needless to say, it crashed and burned within a matter of months. Like the Spruce Goose, it just didn't have what it needed to keep itself in the air. But that doesn't mean there aren't A+ sympathizers still loitering about the Interwebs. They pop up once in a while to remind you of your folly for not believing exactly as they do.

3.      The I'm Atheist But Don't Do Facts Type

These atheists proudly admit they don't believe in God, but then they turn around and espouse the benefits of supplements, crystal salt therapy, and acupuncture. Some even believe in ghosts! These atheists are into alternative therapies and believe they work, because unlike many atheists who come into atheism via a desire for more rational grounds for believing things, these atheists are just living life without facts. And they're content to continue to do so. Which makes them really annoying.

4.      The Can't Stop Being an Anti-theist Prick Atheist

Understandably, many coming out of religion go through an unavoidable anger phase. It's inevitable. But after about a year of blogging and lashing out at the folly of religion, most atheists calm down or find a nice balance to their secular life. The types that really grate, however, are the ones that can't stop being angry and continue to attack religion with the same dogmatic zeal they exhibited when they were a believer. And this religious need to always attack religion makes them one side of a very ugly dogmatic coin, bringing them squarely onto the list of annoying types of atheists. My advice, get it out of your system, sure, but then take a chill pill.

5.      The I Wannabe an Intellectual Too Type!

I hate to knock people's intelligence, as that's generally an ad hominem. But as with the Christian community, there are atheists who pretend to know more than they actually do. And they'll be the first to tell you. Which, I think you'll agree, makes them pretty dang annoying.

6.      The Atheist who Doesn't Know the Difference Between Atheism and Agnostic type

If you don't know the difference between agnosticism and atheism, then you probably shouldn't be getting into arguments about the meaning of either. Yet, there are a handful of atheists who continue to conflate the two, or else dismiss agnosticism entirely, not realizing the nature of their mistake.

Atheism deals with the *personal belief propositions of theism whereas agnosticism deals with what we can *know for certain regarding theistic claims; e.g. whether God exits, etc. There's room for both. I am, for example, an atheist due to my personal beliefs regarding my understanding of theism, but I am also agnostic because I am nearly certain I can't know with any certainty, given my current understanding, whether God exists or not. This makes me an agnostic-atheist. And that's fine. But thinking agnostics are scared atheists or to diminish the position in any other way reveals a lack of understanding on the critics part, making them rather annoying know-it-alls who don't know much of anything.

7.      I'm Atheist But all Atheists are Crap Type

These atheists have had a rough go of it, and have found lots to dislike about the atheist movement, so have sworn off all atheism. Just for the fact they think they're better than all of the rest of us, they make the list.

8.      The Chauvinistic Atheist

These are the horrific womanizing, women-accosting, women-bashing, women-molesting, predatory atheists and their asshole defenders. These are the atheists who wonder why more women atheists don't speak out or attend conventions but then slither into elevators at 2 AM and hit on unsuspecting women then get angry when they're rejected. These are also the atheists who defend these kinds of boundary crossing, disrespectful, predatory atheists by falsely crying "outrage culture" and "political correctness" fatigue, but then turn around and argue with all the women non-believers who are sharing their personal accounts of terrible atheist experiences within the community as though their opinions didn't matter because they were female. Yeah, fuck you pricks and your tiny dicks. Women atheists rule, and if you can't accept that fact, go fuck yourself.

9.      The Devil's Advocate Atheist

Usually this is the one guy in a chat thread that constantly takes the side of the theist in an attempt to, in their estimation, elevate you to higher standard of truthfulness. Therefore, they challenge you on every little detail and ask you to share all your research. Not for the benefit of the theist you happen to be debating, but for your own good. Often times, you end up burning out because you're fending a gish gallop of questions from both sides. And when you finally do throw in the towel, they apologize and express their concerns for the discourse. After all, it's the thought that counts, right? 

10.   The 'I need money so bad I'll debate anyone' Atheist

Most atheists don't do the professional debate circuit, that's true. But some make a good living at it. However, some atheists might want to be more discerning in who they agree to debate. If you're just debating people who want to rile up audiences and use the platform -- and subsequently your atheist fame -- to blast their hate speech, then you're part of the problem. Hey, if you need the money that badly, I hear Starbucks is hiring. And, hey, they offer sensitivity training. Which will help you in the long run. At the very least it will prevent you from becoming the next Lawrence Kraus.

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There are many more types I could name, and many of these areas are overlapping, but these are just the types of Atheists which bother me (personally) to no end. I should know—I am one.