A Conversation with my daughter about homosexuality
She remembers something her pre-school teacher told her over two years ago. In class, they discussed whether it was polite to laugh at a person who had a deformity or didn't have legs. The example was an amputee who was missing their legs.
The teacher said, you don't know why they lost their legs. Maybe they were born without them. Maybe they fought in a war and lost them. But how do you think they'd feel if you started laughing at them?
The children unanimously agreed that they person with no legs would feel bad. Maybe they'd cry. And they all realized it would be really mean to laugh at that person. After all, if they got hurt, and lost their legs, they would feel bad if people laughed at them too.
Flash forward to today (which is actually yesterday). And we're flipping randomly through the television channels and suddenly we stop on one and -- bam! -- two lesbian women are kissing.
My daughter looks at me and I look at her. I had no idea such a scene was going to be on. But she turns to me and says, "Daddy, why are those women kissing each other?"
I said, "Because they love each other."
"Are they gay?" she asked me.
"Yes," I replied.
"That's good!" she chirped.
I raised my eyebrow. Curious as to how she reached that conclusion so quickly, I probed a bit. "Why do you think so?"
"Well, everyone's different!" she exclaims. "Some boys like girls. And some girls like boys. And sometimes girls like girls. And boys like boys."
"That's true," I say.
"Are there lots of gay people?" she asks me.
"Yeah," I inform her. "I suppose there are."
"If there's lots, how come we don't see many?" she asked me in all sincerity.
"Well, because some people are mean to them... and they think being gay is somehow wrong... so they make fun of them or say something to hurt their feelings. So gay people sometimes try to keep their personal lives private."
"That's not right!" she gasps. Growing serious, she informs me, "There's nothing wrong with being gay, Daddy. They're just different! And my teacher said not to laugh at people who are different than us or be mean, because it will hurt their feelings."
She then told me the story about her teacher giving the example of the amputee and not laughing at those with physical deformities.
Needless to say, she is one hundred percent correct. And I am amazed at how well she empathizes with others and how loving she is innately. And I have to think -- if a kid can come to this conclusion on their own, and logically deduce that mistreating others or being unfair to them, being mean, is the same across the board -- then to think otherwise means you had to have been taught it.
Here's the thing. If you think being gay is gross, or wrong, or morally reprehensible, odds are your parents FAILED to teach you how to properly empathize with those who are different than yourself.
If you teach your children that gayness is something to be shameful about, or that it's gross, or wrong, or morally reprehensible then all you have done is teach them how to hate.
And YOU have FAILED to teach them compassion and empathy and how to be loving towards others.
My six year old figured it out on her own. If a six year old can do that, then there's no excuse why a grown adult should ever have a problem with homosexuals and homosexuality. The same goes for the trans community.
If you have any sort of problem with these fine groups of people -- the problem is YOU.
You're the problem.
And it's your problem you need to fix.
Think about that for a moment. Think about how my six year old girl just schooled homophobes and transphobes and anyone whose ever been an asshole towards those different than themselves. If a six year old can best you in ethics and morality, then you should feel ashamed and embarrassed for yourself.
As for those who don't feel ashamed for treating others poorly, well, then you're no better than those assholes who make fun of amputees for simply being amputees. And, personally, I wouldn't want my daughter hanging out with you or your brainwashed-to-hate kids.
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