10 Condescending Phrases Atheists Hear Spoken by the Religious: And 10 Witty Comebacks

AND SOME WITTY COMEBACKS!

1- "I'm praying for you."

Tell them: "If only prayer were enough." Let out a lengthy sigh for dramatic effect.

2- "Eventually, God will reveal himself to you."

*Yawn* (Place your hand over your mouth for added effect) and then check your watch. Even if you're not wearing one, check anyway. The symbolic gesture will be much appreciated.

3- "You must not have been a true Christian."

Reply in an overly serious tone: "Takes one to know one."

4-  "One day you'll know the truth!"

"What makes you think I don't know the truth now?"

5- "You can't have morals without God."

As soon as they finish being judgmental, replicate their tone and immediately respond: "You can't have slarom without Dog." If they give you a strange look, act normal. Everything is fine.

6- "God still loves you."

Ask: "How can something that doesn't exist love me?"

7- "You deny God because you want to sin."

Say: "The Devil is in the details." Linger just long enough for them to think about it, then slowly back away, without breaking eye contact.

8- "The fool says in his heart, there is no God."

Ask: "What fool first said there was?"

9- "You're just going through a rebellious phase."

Tell them: "Puberty was a phase. Endless marathons of masturbating to porn in college was a phase. The thing with the midget and the amputee was a phase. This is nothing."

10- "You are being fooled by the Devil!"

Say: "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, then shame on the Devil." Eyeball them suspiciously till they become nervous or change the subject.