God Hates Figs

I found this picture floating around the Inter-Webs and it made me lough out loud.

Also, it shows the different side of the Son of God which Christians so love to adore and worship. Christ literally did condemn a fig tree to be ever lastingly barren. In fact, he used his almighty powers to see it so. The questions Christians need to ask themselves, in light of this evidence, is why am I worshiping a bona fide lunatic?

Ironically enough, these little yellow marshmallow bunnies are not intolerant of figs, mind you. They are merely practicing their religion according to the faith. That is, they are following their faith to the letter. They may be zealot bunnies, but there is one thing you can damn well bet on, and that is every single one of them believes they are going to the big marshmallow upstairs when they die--to become one with the gooey creator.

Christians often seem to dismiss the fact that their faith is somehow part of a larger religious body. They claim to hate organized religion, but then turn around and practice their religion forgetting that faith is not mutually separate from religion--faith is the belief in the spurious religious tenets, doctrines, and principles. Belief that the religion is true. Indeed, they usually demonstrate their faith via either evangelical, fundamentalist, or dogmatic orthodox adherence to the belief in religious ideologies. I am sorry to burst their bubble of denial, but FAITH is RELIGION enacted. 

The bunnies have faith that God really does hate figs, and therefore they practice this faith by following the religious creed not to suffer a fig to live, for the Lord said unto the fig tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again. 

[Meanwhile, the atheistic pink marshmallow bunnies continually remind the religious yellow bunnies that the very existence of Fig Newtons today proves their God is either non-existent or impotent. Ignoring the evidence of a proliferation of Fig Newtons everywhere, the yellow bunnies claim the pink ones are merely hedonists who want to live a life of gorging themselves on Fig Netwons, to which the pink atheist bunnies remind their zealot yellow little friends that this is besides the point. If their God really didn't want anyone to ever eat figs again, and having the power to do so, then the very fact that figs exist disproves their God. The yellows then claim that the pinks have merely taken the verse out of context and misinterpreted it. Obviously, the verse only refers to that one fig tree, not all the fig trees. The pinks then fire back, stating that the yellows are then practicing a fraudulent faith, for the very admission renders their beliefs erroneous and that even if the fig tree did exist historically--it no longer does. Therefore there are not fig trees today that can possibly be expected to suffer the curse of but one fig tree. Thus their legalistic adherence to scripture is not only a patently absurd, since it unjustly continues to punish all figs for the so-called crimes of one fig, but it is also harmful to society by needlessly causing fig lovers grief, and harming innocent figs. To which the pious yellows tell the infidel pinks to go to hell.]


Popular posts from this blog

Conflating Atheism and Agnosticism is a Mistake

Discussing the Historicity of Jesus with a Christian Agnostic