Sunday, December 11, 2011

Space-time, Quantum Mechanics, and the Cosmological Argument for God



While watching Brian Greene's excellent NOVA series "The Fabric of the Cosmos," I went back and opened up the book (still sitting unread on my shelf) and read it with interest.

Greene talks about space-time, hence the title "The Fabric of the Cosmos," and while thinking carefully on the subject of how space and time are interwoven, as proved by Einstein's theory of special relativity, I came to a very simple realization. Theologians who invoke the Cosmological Argument for God likely don't understand the first thing about cosmology.

A Christian asked me today whether or not it takes the same amount of faith to believe that the universe arose from a quantum singularity as it does to believe a God created it.

My answer was simply: no.


He then told me I should think more about the Kalam cosmological argument, and what the first premise entails, specifically that the universe began. Thus it was caused to begin. Therefore something outside of the universe must have caused it--and for the supernatural minded--this explanation is Goddidit.



I have several objections to the first premise.

As I considered time and space being part of the same fabric of reality, I realized that theologians have the wrong impression of beginnings. Their thinking fits the Newtonian idea that things which begin have causes. But quantum mechanics has blown that rationale up showing that the classical model of physics and how it depicts reality is largely misleading. It has been discovered that fully actualized particles pop in and out of existence all the time in what are called quantum fluctuations. 



Where I feel theologians are getting hung up is not on the notion that time, and so reality and thus all existence--must have a definite beginning--because this is in tune with cosmological observations, but that they feel the beginning of space-time denotes a cause because all things that begin--according to Newtonian reasoning--have causes (e.g., causality).


The problem is this theological consideration that because the universe began it must have had a cause is only true within the confines of the physical universe in which the physical laws already dictate that causes have effects. Without the fabric of the space-time continuum, beginnings and ends make little to no sense, so it would technically be incorrect to assert that everything that begins to exist has a cause before you establish causation. 


The statement "anything which begins to exist has a cause" is true only within the confines of the physical laws of the universe as they are known to us. Beyond the confines of space-time, however, the statement makes no sense whatsoever. 


To complicate matters even more, we must be aware that the past, present, and future all seem to be relative. As Brian Greene reminds us, "there is nothing in the laws of classical physics that says this direction is time future and that direction is time past."


This being the case, how can theologians, who abide by the strict adherence to classical reasoning, say there is a beginning or end at all? 


Again, I is apparent to me that their Newtonian reasoning (which only applies to one small part of the picture) has caused them to jump to the wrong conclusions about the underlying reality of the universe (thereby causing them to miss the bigger picture).


Additionally, to answer the often asked question of why there appears to be order in the universe, this too can be explained by the the increase of entropy from a low to high state. As Greene informs, "The big bang started the universe off in a state of low entropy, and that state appears to be the source of the order we currently see."

Likewise, the related question of why there is something rather than nothing (within the universe) can also be explained. The answer is gravity. Entropy x gravity = clumping. According to physicists, this clumping of matter is what creates stars and planets. Gravity, in other words, is why we have something rather than nothing in the universe.



The Cosmological argument merely asks what sparked that initial fluctuation that caused the big bang? But see, that is, once again, the Newtonian reasoning which presumes all things that begin have causes. In other words, theologians are making a categorical mistake of attributing a metaphysical cause to a temporal effect wherein that reasoning only fits within the framework of a temporal reality. 


Thus, according to the theologians reasoning, things which are acted upon (either physically or metaphysically) have effects and therefor must have causes. There are no random accidents. As Einstein lamented, "God does not play dice."  


Niels Bohr, one of the early pioneers of quantum mechanics, replied to Einstein, "Stop telling God what to do."


The question theoretical physicists and cosmologists are currently investigating is: what, if anything, was there before the big bang?

Recently new theories have emerged which go a long ways toward helping to explain the conditions of the universe prior to its onset. The anthropic principle, eternal inflation, and string theory (for example) all predict a cosmic multiverse. Although it is yet unproved--the fact that three main fields of physics all stumble upon the same prediction, seems to me, to be a good sign that there might be something to this premise.


Although these cutting edge theories are not yet confirmed, they do predict the universe we see, and are based off of the cosmological pieces of the puzzle we have thus far collected and pieced together. What's more--they are testable--and so are falsifiable. Falsifiability is important--because if we are wrong--then being falsified lets us find out our mistakes so that we may correct them.



God theories, on the other hand, predict absolutely nothing (i.e., have zero utility), and in many cases cannot be adequately falsified. 

Being asked to even entertain the notion of the Cosmological argument for the existence of God is the same as being asked to ignore all the current cosmological evidence we do have which leaves no room for the existence of such a being.
 God theories merely make the a priori assumption that God exists. That's faith--not science. 


Do we know for sure what happened before the big bang? No. But that doesn't mean we can just substitute any answer we like in place of our ignorance. We aren't merely drawing straws here at what the most probable answer is. 


We are in the process of looking for testable evidence. When we find it--we will know. Even if we never find out for certain how the universe came to be, then the only answer we could possibly give to the question of what caused the universe to begin to exist is: I don't know.

God never even enters the equation.


Let me turn the question around, why would anyone put their faith in God having created the universe when God fails to explain anything about the universe, but current competing model of cosmology seem to explain everything fairly well without invoking useless God theories?

My point is this, although science cannot say whether or not it is possible for God to exist or not, it does a good job of showing that any effects of his causes are so far entirely absent. That is to say we can see no noticeable signs of his interaction with the universe or his effect upon it. Meanwhile physics explains things quite well without God. 



Without any evidence of God's interaction upon the universe, God becomes redundant for explanations which don't need to invoke God, and thus the God hypothesis is mainly irrelevant. Such a being might as well not even exist.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Quote of the Day x 2 Isaac Asimov x Bertrand Russell


"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." --Isaac Asimov

"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence." --Bertrand Russell



Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Kepler 22B: Another Earth? My Thoughts



"I had an experience... I can't prove it, I can't even explain it, but everything that I know as a human being, everything that I am tells me that it was real! I was given something wonderful, something that changed me forever... A vision of the universe that tells us, undeniably, how tiny, and insignificant and how ... rare, and precious we all are! A vision that tells us that we belong to something that is greater than ourselves, that we are not — that none of us — are alone!" --Ellie Arroway (Contact)


How exciting is this?! We found a planet! Not just any planet either--a planet much like Earth (probably)!


Kepler 22B is the first confirmed planet that NASA has detected that is roughly a little larger than Earth's size and is orbiting its G-type star (the same class as our Sol) within the habitable zone (i.e., the "Goldilocks Zone"). This means that the planet may have water, and if so, then it is almost guaranteed that it will have life (of some kind).


Now, although astrophysicists still don't know for sure if this planet has water, it is one of 48 new potential candidates of Earth-like planets which may.

I think this news is mega-exciting and I am kind of sad to see the media attention surrounding this monumental find so mundane. Sure everyone is reporting on this find--but then nobody is talking about what could be a defining moment in human history. Here we are, staring down at potentially Another Earth. That's just mind blowing.

The only problem is that it's 600 light years away. So there is no way to travel there. But there are ways we could set up a communications relay. Although I am only practicing a bit of wishful thinking, it wouldn't be entirely implausible. 



We could build giant hexagonal ring laser relay which, like a series of jump-gates, use a series of highly concentrated lasers to twist and warp space-time and there by bending space-time and artificially generating a wormhole. This technology is already available, so I don't see why we couldn't start planting relay gates such as these in space. Build our own "stargate"!



Of course these mini ring laser jump gates wouldn't be large enough for anything more than some digital data to pass through, but that would be enough to generate a phone line to whoever may be on the other side.

Yet implementing such a project would take a ton of resources, not to mention the initial problem of being able to travel fast enough to do it within a few thousand years. Warp drive technology is theoretically possible (and also see here), but again we face the challenge of finding an energy source strong enough to warp space enough so that a starship could ride the space time wave faster than light.


Regardless of whether or not we could ever make first contact with an alien race, it seems to me that Kepler 22B represents a dream which all people share--the dream of adventure, of interstellar travel, and of being a part of history. It seems to me, we may already be witnessing history in the making and not even truly be aware of it.




Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Introspection Series Digital Omnibus




Digital photo by Desmet Patrick

In this short series I take an introspective look at my three decades as a practicing Evangelical Christian and discuss my crisis of faith which ultimately led me to renounce my past religious beliefs and learn to live life beyond the absence of faith.


Contents: 

Monday, December 5, 2011

Quote of the Day: Jesus Wings!

"Any person having to Google, Did Jesus Have Wings ought never to open their mouth about the teachings of Christianity." --Bruce Gerencser (Fallen From Grace)

Inviolable Faith Stupid Theology Part 3


Stupid Theology Part 3: Inviolable Faith


[Disclaimer: My 'stupid theology' series is where I can vent and rant against religion. It is more of a rant really--so take it as a matter of informed opinion. As such, these polemical views should be viewed as part of a larger encompassing dialectic and should not be taken personally. I hope that the reader will be aware that I have genuine, valid, rational complaints about religion which should be taken seriously and not simply ignored because my views are opposed to the throng of believers who have it in their mind that their religion is sacrosanct and thereby impregnable.]

On Religious Intolerance, Apologetic Hypersensitivity, and Homophobia
In the past week I have been lambasted and accused for saying hurtful and intolerant things, and get this, for something I didn't even say. That's right, you heard right. But because an atheist said it (somewhere)—I (being an atheist too) was guilty by default. 

As if all atheists prescribed to the same orthodox dogma and held all the exact same predetermined worldviews. Yet if anyone understood even just one atheist they would understand that atheists hardly agree on anything—except what makes them atheist—namely their unbelief in gods, other deities, and the supernatural. Beyond that, the only way to know what an atheist believes is to ask one.

Hey, I'm not saying I haven't ever said anything controversial or meant to provoke, but please, at least be fair enough to give credit where credit is due (and not maim the messenger).

There I was—with two angry Christians breathing down my neck—irate with me for having linked to an article written by a different atheist which criticized their sacrosanct religion. Never mind that, as far as I can tell, both Christians seemingly misread the criticism—which wasn’t directed at all of Christianity but just a particular denomination, namely Baptist Christianity, and then not really even Baptist Christianity, but rather a strange cultish offshoot of Baptist Christianity.

When I pointed all this out—and reminded my hot headed Christian detractors that it wasn't my quote which decried the Christianity
—I merely decried the contemptible Christian organization—neither Christian took the time to apologize for maltreating me with their misdirected scorn. More than this, however, was that they apparently didn't know what it was they were even supposed to be angry about exactly. They just assumed an atheist said something against Christianity and immediately, in a knee-jerk reaction of religious hypersensitivity, started defending their faith (even though it was technically the cult being criticized, not their particular beliefs). 

As part of the defense, they did the predictable thing all Christians do when they want to distance themselves from other Christians they don't agree with, they pulled out the No True Scotsman fallacy trump card and claimed that the cult wasn't a Christian one. For no true Christian, I was told, could do such cruel and despicable things and still call themselves true Christians (obviously they never studied much Christian history).

Additionally, I pointed out to them that the U.S. state which the cult resides in, the sect is legally recognized as a part of the Baptist Church. So their protests were largely in vain. Until they can convince the U.S. government that a particular Baptist Church isn’t Baptist enough, then there is no way to expect they can convince anyone else that the Baptist sect is not, in fact, part of Protestant Christian faith.

Jilted
Later on in the week, a well meaning Christian made the mistake of assuming that my atheism is a mental state of merely being angry at God—and was told I am merely in rebellion. A day later my mother informed me that this is what she thought as well. 

After peeling my palm off of my face, I simply pointed out that atheists can’t be angry at something that they don’t even believe exists. How could something which doesn’t exist get me angry? How could I feel that something which doesn’t exist owes me? It makes no sense.

It would be like a little Buddhist child throwing a fit when Winter solstice rolled around and they didn’t get a present from Santa Claus, which by the way they don’t believe in, on a Holiday they don’t even celebrate. Not only is the idea silly—it’s also condescending. It shows a lack of understanding and consideration for other people’s worldviews. When a Christian tells an atheist they are merely angry and rebelling against God, the Christian has absolutely failed to understand what atheism is and means.

But the subtle connotation behind the accusation is clear. The so-called rebellion is viewed as the atheist being arrogant thinking they are better than God. At least that’s the religious take. But I find it is just rude to claim as much about another person’s views which you have demonstrated a total lack of understanding of. Furthermore, by assuming atheists are conceited and arrogant, and this is the only reason for their rebellion an subsequent rejection of religion, is to assume all atheists just aren’t emotionally mature enough to base their atheism off of valid reasons why God doesn’t exist. It’s the same as claiming atheists are irrational—because a rational person wouldn’t reject God!

Irrationality
Needless to say, this brings me to another complaint. Religious apologists who like to claim atheists are irrational. Granted, no one person is entirely rational all of the time, but it seems that there are detectable religious bred delusions which can sway people to believe in peculiar things. 



The atheist criticism that many religious people act irrationally is based on the evidence that religion frequently influences the mind to believe in unbelievable things that are all without justification. An irrational religious bred belief would, for example, be to believe that a communion wafer and a thimble of wine literally transform into the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ. There is absolutely no evidence for this—or anything like it in all of reality—so if an atheist states Catholics who practice the ritual of Transubstantiation based Communion are being irrational—this is a factual observation, not an insult. Their religion is actively compelling them to act irrationally!

No need to get angry about it. Angry believers, however, immediately react by either claiming that’s just a Catholic tradition, or deflecting the criticism and calling the atheist irrational—as if to say, “I know I am, but what are you?”

Holy Communion is just one example of countless examples which show religion does, in point of fact, impede one’s rational processes and induces irrational behavior. Therefore it stems to reason that any given religious person will be more or less rational depending on the quality of beliefs they hold—and whether these beliefs are rational or not.

The question remains, however, are atheists more or less rational than religious believers? I would have to say yes, if only for the reason that we [atheists] don’t have weird beliefs causing us to believe in ludicrous things. But our overall thinking isn’t that much better. We are all, for the lack of a better analogy, running the same quality of operating systems. The person of faith’s IOS software isn’t that much different from the atheist’s Android software. Technically speaking, we can still all succumb to the same fatal flaws in mental processing, but it helps not to have strange beliefs embedded into the programming.

Luckily, the atheists I know tend to be the most rational and level headed thinkers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Even if it was true, and atheists had some forceful impediment affecting their rationality (which doesn’t seem likely), this assumption would fail to explain why so many rationalists, freethinkers, and educated scientists and philosophers evidently lack a belief in God and reject religious beliefs outright.


On Due Criticism
When I criticize Christianity—I know the position I am criticizing. In fact, if three decades of being a serious Christian wasn’t enough to qualify my opinion as educated on the subject I am discussing, I usually research it even further just to be sure to cover all of my bases. I don’t want to make the mistake of attacking the person and not the ideology.

Perhaps the most annoying trait of Christians is their hypersensitivity to perceived religious intolerance. I know what you’re thinking though, with all the religious intolerance in the world, it just doesn’t seem very decent to be complaining about others not being tolerant of religion—as if all religion was sacrosanct and so too equally worthy of our adoration.

Nearly every week, however, I am accused of “attacking” Christian’s cherished beliefs. Even as I go out of my way to be fair and give well reasoned explanations for my concerns. When I say it is a fact that prayer doesn't work, it's not intended to offend all those who still think prayer is a valid metaphysical form of transmitting their thoughts to God. It just happens to be the truth. Science has invalidated prayer beyond a shadow of doubt. You can't claim to believe in prayer and not expect someone to correct you unless, well, unless you really are under a delusion. 



I recently was told by a Christian on my FB page that, and I quote, “I find your comments offensive. Why do you always have to attack my faith? I don’t attack yours.”

The world Christians seem to be living in is a weird one. You can never disagree. If you do then you’re not a real Christian. If you point out their mistakes they accuse you of being offensive. If you show them facts which disprove their beliefs—instead of finding a better set of beliefs they instead accuse you of intolerance—as if their beliefs were somehow inviolable—and more often than not try to assault you verbally by doing the exact thing they (wrongly) accuse you of doing—insulting them. Strangely, however, if you lampoon religion, they will laugh along with you. Maybe, perhaps, they feel by lampooning religion that you’re not serious about the criticism—it’s all just in fun. I know it is a bit of a tangent, but I find it odd is all.


“Why do you feel you need to attack my beliefs, I don’t attack yours.”

The statement is peculiar. I have been thinking about this for some time, and such a statement is proof that the Christian not only is ignorant of their own position—since they cannot find any other words to defend their beliefs other than to claim the atheist is attacking them, only to follow it up by the claim they don’t attack the atheist’s beliefs.

It’s peculiar, because the Christian is assuming that if they weren’t such good Christians they would… what… attack the atheistic non-belief?

Think about this for a second—and let it sink in. How strange of a phrase is it to claim you’re being better than someone for simply refraining from attacking the things they don’t believe in? Bizzaro!

Imagine a food connoisseur saying to a food critic, “Why do you criticize my cherished food, I don’t criticize the food you don’t eat!”


The two things which stand out is that—1) a criticism of food (in this scenario) is not the same as a criticism of the person eating the food, and 2) it makes no sense to claim you are offended by the prior and then add the platitude that you don’t criticize the food your opponent doesn’t eat.

But this is the exact thing which Christians are doing whenever they state, “Why do feel you need to attack my beliefs, I don’t attack yours.”

Are Atheists Unfair or Utilitarian with their Criticisms of Religion?
Equally as strange is the question Christians never tire of asking. “Why do you only attack Christianity and not other religions as well?”

I usually post links on my personal Facebook page to interesting science articles or religious articles. Over the past month I have amped up my religious content merely because my humble blog has been garbing 2,000 hits a week. Last week on Friday I received 1,997 hits in just one day! Normally I post a link to my article or an interesting article I came across in my research. Most people tend to ignore them. Hardly any bother reading them. But a few, full of Christian compassion, take time out of their busy schedules to take offense, and like to ask why I harp on Christianity all the time and not other religions?

If they would only take the time to familiarize themselves with my writing, however, they would be quick to find that I also criticize Islam and Buddhism and all the silly supernatural beliefs in-between. As such, their question is merely a rhetorical form of whining. If not, then it’s a stupid question.

I could very well ask them why they are overly defensive of only the atheists who denounce Christianity but not the atheists who decry other unfamiliar religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, or Scientology.

Somehow I think the irony of the question would be lost on them. (Yeah, I know it's condescending to say so: but if a person understood the offense then they wouldn't likely make the stupid comment in the first place--so touche.)

Although I can’t speak for all atheists, the reason I criticize Christianity more than other religions is two fold. First off, it is the main world religion—and it has spawned the most branches—therefore it is the archetypal theology to examine. Attacking a Christian weakness or folly can often mean you are attacking a Islamic or Judaic weakness or folly. Since the three monotheisms share so much historical and theological traditions—there is a lot of overlap. I need not necessarily attack Islamic prayer over Christian prayer—because in my eyes the claim to be the one and the same. If not in practice then at least in philosophy.

Secondly, I was raised Christian, in a predominantly Christian country, and came out of Christianity. It’s what I know. In fairness, I try to criticize what I know and not what I don’t know. I can’t pretend to know all the world religions equally—so it would be unfair of me to speak on something I know nothing about. But the very fact Christians would ask such a question shows they really haven’t given any thought to other religions, or for that matter, not much regard either. Don’t attack my beliefs—attack theirs instead. Wouldn’t it be more proper to ask, why do you need to criticize religion at all?

Picking One's Battles
Just to clarify my position, I agree with the Nueroscientist Sam Harris when he states that he doesn’t blame all the bad acts of the religious on religion—just those acts done in the name of religion (whether or not that declaration is made) which have a detrimental effect on society and our well-being.

Granted, not all the world evils done by religious institutions are specifically because of religious ideals. Politics plays a large part as well as other mitigating factors. Religion is a complex set of ideologies revolving around a collective orthodoxy with a planetary doctrine and subsequent satellite sects, which often break off and take up orbit around the same core ideology. The larger the collective orthodoxy is the larger its mass will be, and the larger the dogmatic convictions.

If you have a Deathstar—taking out a few moons may demonstrate your power—but what you are really aiming for is a planetary system. In other words, when an atheist criticizes religion, they are aiming to take out Alderan not Endor. Likewise, when I criticize religion I focus on Christianity and not some obscure faith hardly anyone knows about (and that’s not to say my criticism wouldn’t be valid in both cases).

Last, but not least, I want to address why I feel it is necessary to criticize religion.

As I stated earlier, I understand that not every evil is directly the cause of religion. But the majority of my research has shown that religion is often a primary influence that habitually sponsors harmful beliefs and practices which in turn have a negative impact on society.

Recently a Christian asked me why I don’t attack Nazism with equal disdain and ridicule as I do religion. The question threw me for a loop—because I was like—wait a minute, the Nazis are back? When did this happen? No, I am afraid they too missed a very obvious point—Nazism, although not a completely forgotten political ideology, never-the-less, is hardly an active enough force to be concerned about. Sure, I could pick apart the flaws with the Neo-Nazi movement, as I could with any political ideology, but why bother? Unless it is the one which plays the biggest role in public policy and is the most influential—I would be wasting my breath. Christianity, on the other hand, does play the biggest role in public policy of all the religions, and it is, without a doubt, the most influential.

Usually the response I get to this is that Christianity is merely influencing people, but if they act badly their behavior and actions are the result of other influences too—not merely Christian ones. And this may be true, but it’s little difference as far as my criticism goes of the actively harmful elements of religious influence.

For example, when a religious believer reads their Holy book and the book, which is considered the word of God by the believer, states that homosexuality is vile and sinful, and therefore influences the believer to support an inhumane law which strips homosexuals of their civil liberties, how is this not a problem?

After all, people aren’t born homophobic. It’s an acquired attitude. Conservativism may help to maintain outmoded views and traditional opinions such as prejudice against race or sexual orientation, but Conservativism in and of itself doesn’t breed such things. So why is it usually only pockets of religionists who adhere to a misguided sense of legalism to interpret their religious texts which call for the unjust and unfair treatment of their fellow human beings? Why is it, for example, that the undemocratic Proposition 8 law which was designed specifically to deny homosexual the right to wed, not only brought about but also championed by religious groups wanting to preserve their conservative values?

This suggests to me that religion is specifically to blame in the unfair treatment of homosexuals, both in terms of the general attitude of the populace as well as public policy regarding the treatment of one minority segment of that populace. The connection is obvious: Christians have holy book: holy book is never wrong because it is God’s word: book says homosexuality is bad, bad, bad. Therefore Christians are taught to loathe homosexuality, not only because it is a sin, but because it is a sin which the Bible teaches one must seek to correct. If you cannot correct the sinner—then you are to, according to scripture, take them to the gates of the city and stone them to death.

Would policy makers even bother wasting their time on non-starters such as sexual orientation, an altogether private affair, if it wasn’t for the teachings of an outmoded Holy book which so many of the constituents seem unquestioningly revere? I somehow doubt it.

Pointing out that religion breeds homophobia in such and such a way is not to say all religious people actively despise gays. I am very careful not to make the mistake of confusing a sexist bigot who hates a gay—for no valid reason—from the ideology which teaches them this disdainful mentality. I am attacking the religious influence—although the person who blindly follows this influence unquestioningly, even when it is actively causing others harm, has my full contempt. But in my mind, religious people should know better. If they can’t see their religion is part of the problem, worse still, if they deny it—then they are only a part of the problem.

Every religious criticism I have made, as far as I am aware, has a very specific and direct link back to religious thinking and/or belief. Whether or not the sorts of beliefs and behavior I criticize reflects the beliefs and behavior of every sect of every believer within the folds of that particular religion I am not prepared to say. But such harmful religious influences do exist, and one would simply be naïve to deny it.

Get it? Got it? Good.
I am not simply randomly picking on Christianity to make Christians feel bad. I am criticizing religious modes of thought which directly contribute to generating disruptive or harmful attitudes and behavior. Christianity just so happens to be the religion I am most familiar with—so it is easier for me to deconstruct and trace back the origin of the influences—so my focus is on what I know. 



Even factoring in other external influences which compel people to act badly, it goes without saying, that if the religion didn’t teach contemptible things then the influence would be that much less. In the case of the lamentable situation with homosexuals being treated unfairly, or those whose churches tell them they can't partake in Interracial marriages/relationships, I would say that such attitudes and behavior would be almost non-existent if it wasn’t for the religious ideology keeping such things as sexism, racism, and anti-egalitarianism alive.


So do you really want to know why I feel I have the obligatory right to criticize people's cherished religious beliefs? That's why. 



Saturday, December 3, 2011

Introspection Part 5: Deconversion





Enlightenment simply means illuminating one's mind--not only with truth--but also with knowledge. There are two ways of spreading light. To be the candle, flame growing bright, or the mirror that reflects its brilliance.

Learning Lewis and Doubting Dawkins 
I had finished reading every single theological work C.S. Lewis had ever written. I read all his Christian writings as well as personal correspondence while he was shifting between philosophical worldviews. I read them all--twice. My first copies of Miracles and The Problem of Pain were so well read, so saturated with highlighter marker, that the pages were so deteriorated that I was forced to buy new copies. Later I would buy the beautiful glossy hardcover of the Complete Signature Classics which collects his main essays on Christianity.

As a Christian I had a fairly good idea of what Christianity meant--to me as well as to other Christians. Having been active in Interfaith movements growing up, and having taken comparative religion classes at college, I was well aware of the varying theological viewpoints and different denominations of "Mere Christianity." But even with all the differences Christianity seemed to have a common thread tying every branch of the faith together, and this Gordian knot came together at the intersection where Christ and faith meet.

Nothing could shake my faith--I was certain of it. But in my naivete I believed it. Really, my certitude merely reflected the uncritical and sheltered life I had been living in the protective confines of my "Mere Christianity." I had never really challenged any of my individual beliefs head on. I had never scrutinized them. Never analyzed their content. I had never questioned my faith based beliefs. Why would I? Nobody I knew thought differently. My nation was a Christian nation as far as I could tell.


C.S. Lewis was Christianity's great apologist--and he had answered all the criticisms head on--and his words made so much sense. His reasoning was clear--his points were eloquent--and his analogies so simple yet profound. If anyone criticized Christianity, I would merely refer them to one of Lewis' works.

After my stint in Japan I went back to school and began taking more and more religion classes. I took intro courses on Eastern religions. I took intro courses on Western theology. I took comparative religion classes. I got A's in them all. I was thinking that I would follow my calling and get a degree in theology--so I could defend the faith like C.S. Lewis--with intellectual rigor and a great understanding. I read everything from Thomas Aquinas to Anslem and Aristotle to Lao Tsu.

The majority of what I read was either religious based or spiritual in nature. Evidently, the philosophies I learned about only expanded on the ideas that were common to all the various aspects of religion--no more so than Christianity. More and more I felt like God was real--for why else would all the world believe in something like deities and supreme beings if it weren't somehow true? 

Like the Christian theologian and poet Thomas Traherne, as he writes in his Meditations, I felt "There are invisible ways of conveyance by which some great thing doth touch our souls, and by which we tend to it."

And when he asks, "Do you not feel yourself drawn by the expectation and desire of some Great Thing?”

I merely answered, "Yes."

God for me was real. As real as anything.

But soon enough my faith would crumble. Soon I would have John Locke, Thomas Pain, Joseph Conrad, Thomas Jefferson, and William James all chiseling at my faith from all sides.

But first--it took Dawkins. Yes, I am referring to Richard Dawkins--the oh so "shrill" god(s) hating biologist--and his small little, theologically unsophisticated, book called The God Delusion. A quaint polemic against religion.


That Damnable Book Freed My Mind
Not even three chapters into the book I got to the part where Dawkins criticized the late great C.S. Lewis and I became so distraught, so enraged, that I threw the book against the wall. It slammed into the wall so hard that you would imagine I was meaning to break the spine of that poor little book. If Dawkins was around I probably would have lobbed it at his head.

How dare he take a cheap shot at my literary idol. How dare he attack my faith! Why did this Dawkins person have to attack my cherished beliefs when I didn't feel the need to attack his? There was just one problem--I had no answers for the simple, very mundane, criticisms Dawkins was lobbing against my religion.

Maybe it was because it was the first real criticism of my faith I had read that The God Delusion got to me. Perhaps it was because many of the arguments and questions Dawkins raised seemed so deceptively simple--and I was confused as to why I had no good answers. I had read the best theologians of Christianity--as far as I was concerned. I had even read the contemporary apologetic materials of modern writers such as Josh McDowell (partly because I was part of Campus Crusade for Christ) and Norman L. Geisler. I had all my bases covered. I was well equipped to answer the unbelievers questions. So why did Dawkins bother me so much?

Two things. The first is like I said: I didn't have ready answers for many of his pragmatic concerns. Second, and more importantly, Dawkins is smart. REAL smart. He is an eminent scientist who has devoted his entire life to teaching people about science. Those who criticize Dawkins' book as being theologically unsophisticated have missed the entire point of The God Delusion. It's not meant to be sophisticated. It's like calling a Rambo film a bad art-house flick. You're mixing up your genres. It's not a rebutal for every sophisticated theological demonstration ever devised. What Dawkins does is subtle, yet brilliant, and if you're not paying attention--you'll miss it.

He isn't attacking the aspects of religion which he can't falsify.

Got that?

He is merely attacking the parts of religion which--can be falsified.

It doesn't need to be sophisticated. He's got science on his side--and I only had, well, a big ole Holy book.

When Dawkins points to the faults of that Holy book which so inspires our faith and asks us what's wrong this this thing and that, he is doing what a scientist does. He is looking for the cause and effect. He is looking to see what evidence would exist if such claims were true. His rhetoric can often distract the person of faith--by making them so angry they throw away the book--but if you think he is merely an evil atheist who is lashing out at religion--although he is that too--you might miss how radical The God Delusion is as a question starter. 


All Dawkins wants is for you to start questioning. Once you've done that--he's already won.

In The God Delusion Dawkins puts forward numerous types of questions. Questions such as, should there not be direct results of cause and effect? If someone prays for a miracle, and that miracle comes true, should they not be able to repeat it? If not, why not? Can faith be considered reliable if miracles are random? Energy transference and repeatable conditions should duplicate the same results, and so you could in theory, test which religious claims are true against those which are not--and systematically weed out the false religions. Why hasn't anyone been able to do this? Why is it that religion can never seem to duplicate the same miracle twice, or for that matter, explain why one religion is so similar to other world religions--while the differences are all pretty well understood. Why does Intelligent Design not explain anything while Evolution seems to explain lots?

Why does the Catholic church harbor rapists yet promote themselves as the emissary and voice on Earth of an all loving God? Why does the "love" which Christians so often preach is the basis for their religion always seem to be perverted into intolerance and hate on a global scale? Are all Christians bad human beings? Then why isn't everyone equally as bad or good? How come there are so many good atheists? Why are atheists just as good or bad as Christians--when they cannot claim any revealed truth or direct moral guidance beyond their own faculties?

Then Dawkins turns to science to show us how science, although it cannot answer all the moral questions, it answers the practical ones far better, and with better clarity, than religion.

In the end, Dawkins has hit religion with so many questions that the book is a little jolting. It forces you to question. Only the most "delusional" would be unable to overcome their confirmation bias to get the full effects of the book. For them, they would merely see it as "unsophisticated." 


Even if you have answers for many of the questions Dawkins raises, and some obviously felt they did as a fury of Anti-Dawkins apologetic books hit the Christian book shelves, but their answers were wanting. Have you read them--because I have, and they just don't stack up to that "unsophisticated" book Dawkins wrote. 

If anything, the one answer Dawkins shows is entirely inadequate is the answer which affirms God did it. Dawkins isn't concerned whether you believe God did it or not--he wants you to prove it. Once you realize you that the burden is squarely on your shoulders--The God Delusion becomes infuriating. I thought to myself, how dare he force me to prove what I already know exists! It's inconceivable.

Like a computer virus--Dawkins razor like rationale infiltrates your mind like a Trojan horse and then spreads out and attacks all your worries and increase your doubts ten fold. Question... question... Dawkins taunts... question everything.

I was so infuriated after reading The God Delusion that I went online to listen to these pompous, so-called intellectual, atheists speak. I wanted to hear it from the horses' mouths. All four of them.


That was a big mistake. 

Their eloquence and sophistication was far more than I expected--and every time I listened to them talk I seemed to learn something I hadn't known before. I still didn't agree with their positions, but eventually I came to see that many of their points were valid. In fact, they sounded exactly like the fundamentalist Christians I was used to. They decried organized religion, and so did I. They decried immoral behavior, and so did I! If it wasn't for their dislike for religion--I dare say nobody would be able to tell the difference. Except, there is a difference.

All the New Atheists believe in reason over faith. They support the Freethought and Enlightenment traditions of the 17th Century--and with the aid of modern scientific understanding they take it even further. Personal convictions play second fiddle to systems of belief which demonstrate their claims. Religion is the opposite--religion asks you to have faith first and demonstrate your claims only after the fact--and only when necessary--and sometimes not even then.

I began reading all the New Atheist's work to better familiarize myself with the arguments of the opposition. If I was going to mount an apologetic defense of my faith, I would have to know the enemy. 


It was the neuroscientist Sam Harris who I felt made the best arguments, and after reading his book The End of Faith, I slowly began to question my own religious beliefs and how they fit into the world.


A New Life A New Outlook
By this time I had graduated college and was headed back to Japan to teach on JET Programme. Once again I was re-united with my love Sayaka, and she immediately accepted my new found skepticism. She embraced it--and I continued to investigate and refine my thoughts on the subject. Something I am still proudly doing. And I will continue to do for a long time.

I am not looking for an ultimate truth. I do not expect to learn everything or to find answers for all the questions that I have. What I do know is that after three decades of religion--it left me with no answers. Or the answers I did have turned out to be unreliable--or were always promised to me at some later date.


My first crisis was sparked because of an emotional reaction to the unjust teachings of my religion and the cognitive dissonance it bred. My second crisis would end in the startling realization that my faith had failed me. That it couldn't hold up against the limitless questions, questions which sparked doubts, and doubts which left empty gaping holes in what I thought I knew. Everything I discovered only reinforced the need to be even more skeptical and ever more cautious in my reasoning--and this would prove to be the end of faith for me.

Suddenly I had come so see what all the fuss was about. Like any deconvert, I went through the various stages. The anger. The backlash of friends and family writing me off and in condescending fashion acting like I was never a true Christian--even though by their lackadaisical faith based practices you would hardly know them to be Christians at all.

I went through my worry phase--scared at not having any ideology to latch onto phase--and I went through my all religion is evil phase. 


About a year after I had lost confidence in my faith I decided I would identify myself as an agnostic. Now I am merely settling down--having become comfortable with my lack of belief--and am maturing in my atheism.

Religion is no longer evil to me, although I do view it as a threat and an impediment to clear reasoning. But my journey toward understanding continues and instead of going to Church every week, instead of reading from the same old book every week, and instead of getting the same ancient wisdom spoken back to me every week--now I search the uncharted depths of human knowledge. 


I have learned to seek outside my personal beliefs for answers to the questions I have. I have learned a great deal about researching and fact checking. I have even given myself mental tests to challenge my thinking skills and logic problem solving  I do mental exercises. I read voraciously. Everything from science, to history, to philosophy and all the sub-genres in-between, and I am only getting started. Most of all, however, I try to engage in discussions and try to listen to the criticisms being made. Often times the comments and advice I receive helps me reform my thinking and correct my misconceptions. Other times such criticisms and advice can be dismissed for their sheer incomprehension. 


Beyond the Absence of Faith
One day, while I was walking along the river in a small village in Hiroshima Prefecture, I looked down at the beautiful Koi, or Carp as they are known in English, all swimming around in the river. Some were golden, some were black, white, and red spotted, while others were a dark metallic brown. Off in the distance rice patties glistened amid the misty mountains and the morning air was crisp. The valley smelled fresh with the left over scent of early morning rain, and the sun rays warmed my face as I looked out toward the horizon--with no fence but for the sky, I thought to myself. Bob Dylan knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote those lines.

When I was religious I would have thanked God for such a beautiful day, but on this day it felt as though my eyes were truly opened for the first time. I felt as though all this beauty and grandeur made more sense than it ever had before, that it could have happened only in this way because this was such a universe where it could only have happened in such a way. It all became crystal clear to me that this naturalistic view made more sense than to say some magic deity did it because he liked fat goldfish and sunshine. 


No, I am afraid if God did create it all that everything would cease to have meaning. For such a Creator could just create anything he willed--and he could do it again and again. And again. If he could make it, he could take it away, but then again, he could simply remake it.

Things mean more when they are precious and rare, like a gem that you can't ever really put a price on. Or your first love. Or your forever love. These things are special because they only come once. No two will ever be the same. They are the rarest of the rare. Life is a lot like that. Our lives are one time events--our very existence is precious for this reason. If a Creator God existed, he could simply remake my existence in an afterlife, a heaven, but then this life would cease to have meaning. Life seems more beautiful to me without God. 


On that morning I realized my life, my very existence was precious gift, all the more because it was one of a kind, and I felt at ease. That was the day I realized I had completely grown comfortable with my loss of faith. It was the day I thought, so this is what happens to nonbelievers who go beyond the absence of faith. They find peace of mind in the tranquility and splendor of what they can be a part of--what they can experience--of what they can change if they put their minds to it.


Although there were many other factors to my deconversion as well, I only included the main events, so to speak, in order to keep this series of memoirs as brief as possible. I hope you enjoyed this series and I hope you find something helpful in it. If you have any questions about my deconversion or of what I currently believe, feel free to contact me in person or leave comments in the comments section. 



Finis

(Thanks for reading.)


THREE REASONS I.C.E SHOULDN’T EXIST (The Aftermath of Renee Good's Killing)

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” ― G...